


Family Isn't Always Related

by masterroadtripper



Series: Love Makes the World a Better Place [4]
Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: F/M, Mother Figure Charity, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Trans Male Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-03-27 03:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13871697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterroadtripper/pseuds/masterroadtripper
Summary: Charity Barnum notices that Soren is missing a mother's love.  She becomes a better mother to him than he ever had.This story takes place after chapter 19 in Throw Away the Typical.  It is not necessary to read the entirety of Throw Away the Typical if you don't have the time.  But chapters 6 and 19 make this story make much more sense.





	1. It Was Quite A Suprise

The circus grapevine was an amazing thing.

It allowed Charity to keep tabs on her husband’s crazy adventures and ideas while not having to go down to the docks every single day. Phineas, a showman at heart, was prone to staying away from home for long periods of time, and Charity worried for her husband. He needed sleep and he needed to see his daughters.

But she never heard a word about her birthday surprise until it actually happened. It was amazing that she never even heard mutterings from Phin or Caroline that they would be doing a performance. When Phin started bringing the girls to the circus on rehearsal nights, Charity didn’t bat an eyelash. The girls needed to spend time with their father and if they did it at the circus, then she was glad.

Every night, they came home with wonderful stories of what they had seen, or the people they had played with. She was only marginally suspicious about the upcoming show when Caroline said she was needed behind stage before and during the performance. Caroline loved watching the dances and Charity was confused why her daughter suddenly wanted to help “coordinate acts” with her father.

Needless to say, when the young German boy that Phillip had recruited and they had met a few months earlier started singing hers and Phin’s favorite song, she started smiling. It wasn’t until Caroline joined the German boy in the lovely duet featuring the spinning metal candle holder, that everything fell into place.

When they first met, somehow, Phin had this really unique candle holder. You spun it and all the cut outs from the metal danced on the walls in the dark. The cutouts made from the metal were lions, stars and the occasional monkey. Candle light shone through the holes and with the stage lights down, the animals danced across audience. Her little girl danced with the German boy so beautifully and their voices just filled the tent.

And when Phin transferred onto the stage, switching places with her daughter and the German boy, the two kids ran towards her and pulled her onto the stage, towards her husband.

 

After the show, Phin pulled Helen into his arms and led two of his three girls backstage. Caroline was still in the beautiful blue dress she danced in on stage and the boy was standing near her, their heads bent in intense conversation.

“Caroline?” Charity called towards the two kids. She would have called the boys’ name too, but it currently escaped her mind. The kids turned to face her and Caroline hopped from her seat and ran towards Charity. Enveloping her older daughter in a hug, she smelt sweat, stage makeup, a musky costume, but it was definitely hers.

“You did amazing honey,” Charity whispered into Caroline’s golden curls. Looking up at the German boy with the light, light blond hair, but still, somehow, looking amazingly like Phin had way back when, she told him, “You too. You have a beautiful voice.”

“Thank you ma’am,” he said quietly, looking at his scuffed black shoes.

“Please call me Charity,” she said, stepping forward and taking one of the boy’s hands. “What is your name?”

Charity watched the boy deliberately clear his throat, raise his chin, almost in an act of defiance and said, “Soren.” His speech was short and clipped and only a fraction of the glory which she had heard earlier in the evening.

“Well Soren, you did an amazing job tonight,” Charity said one more time to reassure the boy. It seemed like a little extra reassurance could go a long way for this kid.


	2. Baden-Württemberg, Germany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charity is thankful for Helen and Caroline befriending Soren. After dinner she walks him back to the circus.

“Do you like my cookies?” Helen asked. Charity watched from her seat at the kitchen table as her two daughters, both younger than Soren, interacted with him like they were siblings. She supposed that, given the previous months that Phin had been bringing the girls to the circus with him, they had formed a pretty decent friendship. Those months of time were certainly showing as Soren nodded around a bite of one of Helen’s attempts at baking. At eight, Helen had decided that she wanted to try her hand at cooking and, well, it was a work in progress.

Covering his mouth with the back of his hand, Soren said, “They taste good Helen.”

Charity couldn’t help but smiling as she grabbed the hand of her husband. Ever since Phin started the circus, the girls had had issues making and maintaining friendships at school. Apparently no one wanted to be friends with the kids whose father owned a circus. The only other younger performer was Anne, and the girl, while super nice, had aged much, much more than a kid her age should have. She was never not nice to the girls, but she had endured much more than she should have. It was nice that there was someone younger at the circus for the girls to make friends with and it looked like they had.

 

“I’ll walk him back to the circus, you read the girls a story,” Charity offered that night. It was bedtime for the girls, and while it may not have been for Soren, she wanted him back at the grounds before it got too dark out. Besides, Helen wanted a story “with the goofy voices” and Charity’s vocal range was quite less than Phin’s.

“Be safe, get Constantine or Fedo to walk you back if it gets too dark,” Phin said, leaning over to kiss her forehead. Soren shrugged into his oversized coat and they headed out onto the streets.

“Where in Germany are you from?” Charity asked.

“Baden-Württemberg,” Soren replied, though not before clearing his throat. Once again, his words were clipped and sounded unnatural coming from his lips.

“I was there once. What city were you from?” Charity asked once again and hoped she wasn’t overstepping any bounds. Many of Phin’s performers were in America for one reason or another. She figured if a kid like Soren had came to America with no family, he was running from Germany.

“Not from a city. Land near the Rhine.” Once again, he spoke in his weird way. Charity wished to hear him sing again, if only to hear his wonderfully full and healthy voice.

“It must have been lovely.” Charity said.  

Soren just shrugged and muttered, "I guess."  

"I visited when I was young," she said, filling the silence between them and the darkening sky, "We had gone to see some of my father's business partners.  I remember playing in an old shed at the back of the property with his kids."

"A shed?" Soren squeaked, his voice jumping a few octaves.  Charity wondered why he had been so suddenly startled by the mention of a shed, but continued nonetheless.

"Yah, it was pretty old," Charity remembered the peeling paint on the walls and the stories of the ghost of the grounds keeper that supposedly haunted it.  "The father, what was his name?  Something Adenauer."  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who remembers Francesca Adenauer?


	3. It Was A Delicious Meal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> POV Soren. They get back to the circus and Anne, Charity and Phillip are trying to determine if Soren is okay.

Soren leaned over and voided the contents of his stomach onto the cobblestone road beside his feet. He should have known as soon as Charity had started talking about Germany that this would have happened. Genuinely feeling sick, Soren heaved up another round of supper onto the sidewalk while Charity rubbed his back and pulled his long coat out of the way.

Wiping his mouth on his baggy sleeve, Soren sat back on his haunches.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Soren muttered, the embarrassment of the situation seeping in.

“Why don’t we get you back to the circus,” Charity said, helping Soren to his feet and looping an arm around his abdomen and supporting some of his weight. He was glad that the thick coat made the feel of the corset he wore minimized or non-existent to Charity.

Anne and Mr. Carlyle had promised him, back when they met, that Francesca Adenauer went no farther than them. So he had no reason to believe that the knowledge had made its way to PT or Charity. In fact he was sure Charity had no idea who he was. He thought she was a nice lady and there would be no way she would bring up his family name if she knew.

He felt nausea churning in his stomach once again from the first time in months. Only about a block later, Soren bent over and finally emptied his stomach completely.

 

“Are you sure you are fine?” Anne asked. Charity had dragged him back to the circus tent at a rather swift pace after vomiting for the third time. Then, after protesting furiously that he was, in fact, fine, she pulled him into Mr. Carlyle’s office. However, they ended up in his office without first grabbing Anne.

“I am hungry, but otherwise _I do feel fine_ ,” Soren insisted. Anne cracked a tiny smile, yet Charity and Mr. Carlyle didn’t seem so moved by his assurance.

“Was it something you ate?” Charity inquired and Soren shook his head. He knew for sure why he had thrown up and it was not the delicious food Charity had prepared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was kinda short. I'll try to keep updating throughout the week, but I'm not entirely sure how well that will work considering I have a lab due and unit test this week. We'll see.


	4. Rebuilding Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minor mentions of abuse in the case of both Soren and Phillip.
> 
> I'll update the tags if it gets any deeper than this.

Phillip reassured Charity that he would keep an eye on Soren over night. It was the only thing that actually seemed to convince Barnum’s wife to go home with Constantine. And truthfully, even if Charity just left Soren here and he had heard that the kid had managed to throw up three times in a half hour walk, he would want to keep an eye on him. Even though Soren claimed he was okay, Phillip was not convinced. The kid was pale, he looked cold and wouldn’t stop shaking. Unfortunately, Charity wasn’t able to pinpoint what had made Soren throw up so violently.

“Soren, stop moving,” he told the kid as he walked down the rickety wooden stairs from his office to the performance ring floor. Since Charity had gone home, he hadn’t stopped moving. Maybe he couldn’t stop moving or maybe it was that the movement that kept his head clear. Clear of what? That was what Phillip wanted to find out. Why did this happen.

“Hey, hey, stop it,” Phillip said catching Soren’s shoulder to try to stop the small young man from pacing.

Phillip felt the pain in his jaw before he actually realized what had just happened. The blow had very little force behind it. Having taken many blows to the jaw in the past, Phillip thought he may see stars, but when they never came, he realized Soren had pulled the punch at the last moment.

“STOP IT!” Phillip yelled, grabbing Soren’s wrist. If it was possible, by raising his voice, Soren got more pale. Dropping the boys arm and pulling all limbs off of Soren, Phillip took a step back. “Can I speak with you in my office?”

“Is Anne there?” Soren asked and Phillip felt his heart drop about three stories. He had completely broken any circle of trust they had formed in the past few months. By raising his voice and grabbing his shoulder, Phillip had single handedly built every single wall back up around that kid’s heart. Those walls may never come down ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abuse can come in many forms. Many people think of abuse as physical or sexual. People violating others space in a violent way. BUT, there is also verbal abuse and that could be more than just screaming and yelling at a person. Verbal abuse can be just chipping away at ones self esteem over time or making one fear being themselves. 
> 
> I will try to explore this last topic with Soren, Phillip and Charity. If this is an issue for you, I fear this may be our last chapter together. I will, however stay away from topics of abuse in the others parts of the series so if this is an issue, all other works are a safe place.


	5. Non-existant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait for an update, life has been hectic. Anyways, in this chapter, Charity quizzes PT about who Soren is.

“Phin,” Charity called out softly as she opened the door to their house.

“In here,” the equally soft voice of her husband called. She walked into the study and saw Phin hunched over a sketch of what looked like a new piece of equipment for the circus. He was in his pyjamas, but it seemed as if he had never really intended on going to sleep.

“What do you know about Soren?” Charity asked, digging her long fingers into Phin’s tight shoulders.

“He’s from Germany, came from a relatively well off family, I think.  Why?” Phin asked distractedly, but Charity could tell he was hiding something. Yes, he knew Soren better than her, but she felt that if her mentioning whatever she had on their walk had made him so upset that he threw up, she needed to know. Charity did not a repeat performance of that walk at a later date.

“We were walking back and I started talking with him, trying to see what he thought about Germany. I mentioned that I visited a while back and then he threw up. And not just once, three times total before we got back."

“See, I don’t know a lot about the kid. I did some research back when Phillip recruited him. He was the kid of someone important, I don’t know who, but Phillip mentioned it once. But his name was listed nowhere on any registry. Soren Bachmeier simply doesn’t exist.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not 100% certain how much PT knows about Francesca Adenauer (Soren's dead name), but I imagine being the smart and connected guy he is, he has either found out about Baron Adenauer and his run away "daughter" or is at least suspicious. He does know that Soren Bachmeier is not a "real person."
> 
> Sorry for the long wait for the update and that the chapter is short, but I had the time so I did a little writing.


	6. Deflate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phillip's POV.

“Soren, what happened back there?” Phillip asked from his seat on the edge of his desk. Soren sat on the comfy chair next to Anne. She had draped a blanket over the young boy’s shoulders and was now soothingly rubbing a hand up and down his back. Soren shrugged his answer and when he caught Anne’s gaze, she gave him a pleading look.

“Was it something Charity said to you? Was that what made you throw up?” Phillip asked.

Once again, Soren shrugged and turned away. The boy barely spoke of his life before joining the circus. Phillip wondered if it was simply because he wanted nothing to do with his life before coming to America or something else.

“She started talking about how she had visited Germany when she was young,” Soren said finally. “She met my father when he was younger. Her father and my grandfather were business partners. What if Charity makes the connection? Then she’ll tell PT. Then I’ll get sent to jail,” Soren said, everything flowing out of his mouth. He hunched over and covered his face in his hands.

Phillip watched as the young boy seemed to deflate. It was like someone had punctured a balloon. Soren leaned into Anne and Phillip saw his fiancee wrap her long arms around him. Just as she would have done for their unborn child...

“Hey,” Anne said taking his hands gently as not to spook him, “Charity and PT have been a part of this circus since day one. They know better than to report you.”

“Hell, if we reported everyone that was slightly illegal at this circus, we wouldn’t have a circus,” Phillip assured him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if that mention of their child spoiled Throw Away the Typical for you. Not intended. If you are new to this series, the child is totally NOT canon and just something I made up.


	7. How are you today?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charity POV, the next morning

“Soren, are you feeling okay today?” Charity asked the young German boy the next day when Phin brought the girls to the circus.

Soren was standing backstage and coiling the trapeze rope around one of the pillars when she approached him. He jumped a little when she said his name, but recovered quickly when he recognized her voice.

“Better, thanks Charity,” the young boy replied, pulling the coat closed and buttoning it. Maybe he was cold. But under the big top, there was no way Soren would be cold enough to have his jacket buttoned all the way down.

“I’m sorry about last night, I suppose I was not editing my comments,” she said while Soren continued moving and bundling the thick rope around the red painted pillar.

“Please don’t change what you say because of me,” Soren said back, stopping after one go-around of the pillar. “I’ve lived too much of my life in a household where no one speaks what they think under fear of repercussion.”

“Well, thank you for telling me Soren. I do hope that never happens again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, life has been ridiculous lately, but I'm now on spring break, so expect some updates.


	8. Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soren's POV of the previous chapter

“Soren are you feeling okay today?” A voice asked cutting through the pleasant nothingness Soren had let his brain fall into. Coiling the trapeze rope was a mundane task, but it needed to be done. Instead of going to the market with Constantine or cooking with O’Clancy, Soren appointed himself to this job.

He knew he startled when the person said his name, but he quickly recognized the voice. Charity Barnum. Soren stopped and thought about what had just been asked, so it didn’t look like he was not paying attention.

“Better, thanks Charity,” he replied to her question. It was rushed, but at least he answered. Better late than never. Then he realized that the shirt he was wearing was rather thin. Not a problem on a usual day when no visitors were around. The crew all knew he wore the corset under his clothes. But Charity nor PT knew. And he wanted to keep it that way. So he dropped the rope and started buttoning the thick coat he wore.

“I’m sorry about last night, I suppose I was not editing my comments,” she replied. Soren picked up the dropped roped and continued bundling it around the pillar.

Soren stopped moving. He never wanted others to mince their words around him. He had lived under the tyrannical wrath of the Baron Adenauer for far too many years. Far too many years of living under the fear of pain that accompanied a loose mouth.

“Please don’t change what you say because of me,” Soren replied in explanation, “I’ve lived too much of my life in a household where no one speaks what they think under fear of repercussion.” Soren figured Charity replied, but he didn't hear what she said. It all became muffled in the corners of his head as Soren cursed himself for saying that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the mention of the corset... that is what Soren uses as a binder, considering binders didn't exist in the late 1800s. 
> 
> However, if you are pre-surgery FTM, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not bind with anything else other than a binder. No ace bandages, tensor bandages, athletic tape, duct tape. Even if those thinks help alleviate dysphoria temporarily, the effects to your health are so much worse. Plus, if you plan on getting top surgery in the future, binding this way could prevent you from such events. Stay safe!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to lykxxn for giving me this idea. I'm not done yet, don't worry.
> 
> Anything else you guys want to see with Soren? Leave a comment :)


End file.
